Posts under Tag: jokes
For a Giggle…

Post by packratatlarge in alt.jokes
Torched

A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police.
“What are these matches and lighter fluid doing in your car?” asks the cop.
“I juggle flaming torches in my act,” replies the juggler.
“Oh yeah?” asks the doubting cop. “Let’s see you do it.”
The juggler starts juggling the flaming torches masterfully.
A couple driving by slows down to watch.
“Wow,” says the driver to his wife.
“I’m glad I quit drinking. Look at the drunk driving test they’re giving now!”

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free.jokes – Best Smart Ass Answers

Here is a little humor to lighten and brighten everyone’s Friday….

Smart ass answer #6

It was mealtime during a flight on Alaska Airlines. “Would you like dinner?”
the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. “What are my choices?”
John asked. “Yes or no,” she replied.

Smart ass answer #5

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As
a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his
trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, “Sir, I need
to see your ticket not your stub.”

Smart ass answer #4

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she
couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, “Do
these turkeys get any bigger?” The stock boy replied, “No ma’am, they’re
dead.”

Smart ass answer #3

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled
down his window. “I’ve been waiting for you all day,” the cop said. The kid
replied, “Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.” When the cop finally
stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

Smart ass answer #2

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
reads, ” Low Bridge Ahead.” Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of
him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the
truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, “Got stuck, huh?” The
truck driver says, “No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of fuel.”

Smart ass answer of the year 2007

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam. “Now class, I
won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider
a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, Or a death in your
immediate family, but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!”

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, “What
would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter
sexual exhaustion?”

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is
restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and
sweetly says, “Well, I guess you’d have to write the exam with your other
hand.”

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