Archives for: October 2010
free.jokes – Best Smart Ass Answers

Here is a little humor to lighten and brighten everyone’s Friday….

Smart ass answer #6

It was mealtime during a flight on Alaska Airlines. “Would you like dinner?”
the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. “What are my choices?”
John asked. “Yes or no,” she replied.

Smart ass answer #5

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As
a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his
trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, “Sir, I need
to see your ticket not your stub.”

Smart ass answer #4

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she
couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, “Do
these turkeys get any bigger?” The stock boy replied, “No ma’am, they’re
dead.”

Smart ass answer #3

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled
down his window. “I’ve been waiting for you all day,” the cop said. The kid
replied, “Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.” When the cop finally
stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

Smart ass answer #2

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
reads, ” Low Bridge Ahead.” Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of
him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the
truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, “Got stuck, huh?” The
truck driver says, “No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of fuel.”

Smart ass answer of the year 2007

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam. “Now class, I
won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider
a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, Or a death in your
immediate family, but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!”

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, “What
would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter
sexual exhaustion?”

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is
restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and
sweetly says, “Well, I guess you’d have to write the exam with your other
hand.”

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Top Horror Hits

Since Halloween is just around the corner, rec.arts.movies.past-films was listing an actual tune list of spooky music. I would rather name some past horror flicks that had me left scarring:

Texas Chainsaw Massacre 1974
Nightmare on Elm Street

The Descent
Hostel
Ju-On, The Grudge
The Hills Have Eyes
Ringu
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rec.juggling

Super talented German juggler… who’s under 10 years old! He’ll be seen at a juggling convention sometime this year.

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reminiscing – MST3K

Seems I’m not the only one missing MST3K…

Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc

Subject: Evidence of MST3k’s undue influence on my life?

So I was watching the World Cup over the last month, and whenever I saw
Uruguay play, whenever the camera would have a close-up on their star
striker Diego Forlan
http://www.ct.gov/dcf/lib/dcf/adolescent_services/hispanic/092508_diego_forlan_daily_fact.pdf
I couldn’t help but think “Hi!  I’m Max Keller!” in that imitation Timothy
Van Patten voice Crow used.
I can’t believe I’m the only Mistie who did.
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Can CDMA Do Simultaneous Voice and Data?

There are tons of Verizon subscribers out there just itching for an iPhone. Those of you that fall in this group have suffered from numerous rumors about the iPhone being made as a CDMA phone only to have the dates pushed or for the rumors to be false. I as much as anyone else do eventually expect to see a CDMA phone, but beware of the CDMA spec as it is likely to cripple the iPhone for all of you. As it is right now CDMA cannot do dual voice and data. That is to say that many of the things that make the phone useful (looking up directions while on the phone with someone for example) cannot be multitasked.

Of course they are working on a solution to this but until they figure it out Apple may not want to release a CDMA version of the phone. Apple is a stickler when it comes to meeting user experiences and if the dual voice/wireless access solution isn’t found soon I expect the phone will be delayed. As always there’s  a good discussion in misc.phone.mobile.iphone, check it out!

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